The reality of today's world is saddening to me because of the number of marriages that have failed over the last few decades and continue to fail. Don't get me wrong there are definitely valid reasons for divorce and sometimes very necessary. I do think that it would be easy for someone to look at divorce as an easy out, but I honestly think that it is still hard. Marriage is hard, divorce is hard. It is just a matter of choosing which hard is worth going through. So I want to take some time today to talk about the hard things that come from going through a divorce. There are 5 different elements that factor into a divorce which are, emotional, legal, social, parental, and economic.
First off the actual emotions behind a divorce. I do not think emotionally that a divorce on either side is ever a good thing. Obviously, there are different circumstances for every situation that plays into the effects that a divorce has on one person. It is hard when you have formed attachments with someone and also built a life with someone to then separate. For one thing, you can't forget memories. It can be extremely difficult to deal with the emotional disconnect and put yourself back in the world alone. Even if you are divorced from a person does not mean you have emotionally processed the divorce.
The next element is legal. Legal can be super simple or super complex depending on how well the partners corporate. Realistically there are a lot of things that have to be divided when going through a divorce. For as long as you have both been married you have shared the majority of your things so to have to legally try and decide who gets what can be complicated but once that is done you are no longer married and you can officially separate.
The next aspect is social. This might not seem like a huge deal but it can cause a great divide in friendships and sometimes even families. When you are in a relationship you have a lot of the same friends and getting a divorce can cause those friends to have to choose a side. Or it can just cause hard feelings between each other. Family can become close which also makes it hard when dealing with a divorce. I know somebody who with her spouse worked with her brother and his wife and they traveled a ton together and did quite a lot together. The one couple ended up getting divorced and her brother continued to work with her Ex-husband which caused a lot of tension between her and her brother. They still do not talk to each other. This has caused a great divide in the family and it's really quite sad.
Parental is another factor that hugely plays into divorce. I feel like this is one that affects a lot of people. It is one hard on the parents to have to share their children and two it is hard on the kids to have their family split up. No matter what that kid's world is being rocked upside down and it is not easy. There are a lot of difficulties in trying to figure out custody and holidays.
Lastly, we have economics. I feel like anytime you go from two incomes to one it can get tricky but also I feel like in a lot of relationships the couple relies on one person to make most of the income or one person works while the other stays home with the kids. This can be incredibly difficult to balance after a divorce. You also have the factor of one parent having to pay child support so now they not only have to support one family but two.
Regardless of the circumstances divorce is never an easy or fun thing to go through and there are so many elements of life that it affects. I know that marriage is so so essential and important and it is definitely worth fighting for in a lot of situations.
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