Choices and Parenting

     What's good everybody? It feels like it has been longer than a week but here we are. Today I want to talk about something that I have not put into practice yet, but just my thoughts and views on the matter. I want to talk about the balance of giving your children the freedom to choose and also giving them rules and boundaries. I am not yet a parent so in theory, I feel these things would work, but I know the curse of never saying you won't do that when you have children so just bare with me these are just thoughts and feelings.  

    I feel that for the most part there are two kinds of parents the kind that is super duper strict and does not ever give their kids the ability to make decisions and decipher the right things for themselves. Then there are the parents that probably give their kids too much freedom and let them rule their own world. Which is better? Which is the right way to go? Is there a right and wrong way to do it? There may not be a wrong or right answer to these questions but here is what I think. 

    Typically you see with the parents that are super strict the kids have a hard time with wanting to listen to their parents. I have had a lot of friends who did not feel like they could go to their parents when they had a problem in fear that they would just get a lecture or be punished. Or they simply just felt that they did not want to do something just because their parents want them to. It makes them want to be disobedient because they do not feel like they get the choice very often. It sends them in the other direction and makes them feel more distant. 

    Then you have the kids who have parents who let their kids have way too much freedom. This can be bad because then the children feel in control and feel that they can get whatever they want and whenever they want it. This can be bad because sometimes as kids we feel like we know what will be best for us when we can not really see the whole picture. Therefore to some degree, it's good to have that guiding hand of a mom and dad. 

    So what is the right way? I feel that it is important to have a balance. I like to look to our Heavenly Father as a guide. How does He parent us? He gives us standards and expectations and then gives us the freedom to govern ourselves. He doesn't control every choice we have to make but he gives us options to choose from and gives us guidance and counsel and then it is up to us to make the right decisions. Just like Heavenly Father, I think it is important to teach your children the standard and expectations. Help them see the importance of things and then let them decide what exactly they should choose. 

    Most importantly Heavenly Father loves us regardless of the choices we make. He loves us unconditionally and as we show our children that same kind of unconditional love they will feel more comfortable leaning on us for help when they do slip up and make a mistake they will know they can come to us rather than go into a deeper amount of trouble. I know there is no perfect solution to parenting and no parent is perfect everyone is just trying to figure out what they are doing. I do know though that the best way to teach a child or anybody is to do it out of love. When you love somebody and just want the best for them you can't go wrong.