Talk Talk Talk

 Ok, so how many of you actually like to talk about the nitty-gritty stuff and the way you feel?Maybe it is just me but I certainly don't. I like to let things build up inside of me until I become so frustrated I have to talk about it.... Yeah, I know it's definitely not a healthy habit. This is why I wanna talk today about some practices that would be way more healthy mentally and most definitely more healthy for all of my relationships. Being able to effectively communicate can save so much heartache and confusion in the end.    

    Has there ever been a time in your life where someone you lived with whether that be a roommate, a significant other, or another family member, would do something that would drive you absolutely crazy, but you didn't want to say anything because it was kind of a small dumb thing? So time goes on and you don't say anything and  for a while and every time they do it it festers and festers a little bit more inside of you until you have a bunch of built up resentment towards that person. I don't really know if this happens to all of you but it definitely does me. So something I find myself asking is what's the solution? Well the easiest and probably the only thing to do is to talk about it. 

    Let's be real, as nice as it would be if people could just read our minds and then fix the problem, it can't be like that. So instead if there is something we want someone to know, we have to tell them. I have seen as I learn to effectively tell those that are important how I feel and vice versa then we both feel comfortable telling each other how we feel and it makes it a whole lot easier to avoid conflict and solve issues. Plus most of the time if it's a person you are close to they will respect that and try to fix the problem and you should do the same thing. 

    I think another important part of this is trying to see issues from the other person's perspective. It's easy to get caught up in all the little things that drive you crazy or that you don't like, but I truly believe if you care about a person and they care about you simply taking a step back and trying to understand them will help you to feel a lot more compassionate and make it so you don't feel resentment. Rather you want to strive to make them happy even if that means changing a few simple habits. 

    I recently learned about the model for effective ways to respond to someone wanting to argue about something and the first part of it is recognizing your wrong. It's a way of being humble, helping them feel that you see where they are coming from and giving them validation. I think this goes a long way in showing the other person you care enough to try to help them feel better about it. When you admit that you aren’t always right, the other person won't feel the need to argue because you are willing to work through problems with them. 

    Another important part of effectively communicating about it is to recognize each other's strengths. You can never go wrong with first telling a person why you care about them and showing your gratitude for them. I think when you have something that bothers you if you first show them that you care and help them see all the things you do love about them it will make the issue seem like not as big of a deal.

    I know communication is hard and I'm certainly still learning myself how to effectively communicate the way I feel, but I know it is so so crucial in being happy and having good relationships. These are just a few things that I have found to be effective and things to think about. Something that I like to remember is everything in this life that is worth it takes effort and hard work.