Culture Shaping Us

     Hello again! Something that has been on my mind this week is how the way I grew up and my families culture has shaped me into who I am today and really how everyone's different background has shaped them. As I have gotten older and moved out of the house I have had the opportunity to live with lots of different people. I have come to see that really everyone does things differently, which is not always a bad thing but most of the time they just do what they know from growing up. Reflecting on the traditions and the normalities that I grew up with has helped me to see why I feel and act a certain way. 

    One big aspect of the way a person grows up is their social class and financial means. I know a lot of people say that money doesn't matter and to an extent, it doesn't, but it does play a big role in the way you live and the opportunities you are given. I think a major example of this is music lessons or extracurricular activities, someone who is born into a family that is more well off may get the opportunity to learn an instrument or participate in a sport and that is definitely something that shapes the kind of person you become. I think another thing is how you learn to live if I grew up in a family that had more money I am sure I would be more opt to spend money on things I don't necessarily need but if you grow up in a family that doesn't have those means you learn to get away with just the things that you absolutely need.  I had a friend once who came from a pretty wealthy family and she was always very pampered and had the best of the best well as she went off on her own it was very difficult for her to provide for her lifestyle and support herself. This is defiantly a huge principle that plays into culture-shaping us and our future. 

    Another way that our culture growing up shapes us is our family dynamic. The way that our family acts and treats each other has a lot to do with the way that we will act and treat each other. From the time we are little till the time we become old enough to understand a bit more we are watching and observing those who are around us the most and creating ideas of how we think things are in our heads. Some families are more warm and fuzzy and you can evidently tell that they really love each other, some families are more proper and show acts of love in different ways. Regardless of which kind of home you grew up in you will most likely love your future family the same way because that is what you know. An example of this is my parents are not super touchy in front of us they just aren't we would see the occasional kiss or them holding hands but that is the extent of it and in turn, I feel like PDA makes me super uncomfortable. I don't know for sure if those two things are connected but it would make sense to me if they were.

    Lastly just where you grow up and what kind of environment you grow up in. The culture around you and where you go to school or what kind of people you go to school with helps shape us too. I think friends play a bigger role in who we become than we give credit for sometimes in a positive way and sometimes in a negative way but it is definitely there. I know at times in my life when I haven't had the best of friends or the best environment around me I noticed a big difference in how I felt and even acted. 

    I could probably go on for days about the different ways our culture and our environment helps us or puts us at a disadvantage but I know that even though these things have a huge influence on our lives we always have the power to rise above situations a make them more than we think.

True Understanding

          It's me again! :) I have always been facinated with the idea of understanding why people do the things they do. I firmly believe that there are normally deeper reasons to people's actions than what is just on the surface. I had an old friend that use to say true understanding brings true love. It took me a while to understand exactly what that meant but as I have looked back at my life and the people that I have loved, I realized that as I had come to understand these people I had truly come to love them. When we understand a person and truly take the time to see where they are coming from its hard not to love them. 

     In every relationship whether it be a significant other, a friend, or family member there will be conflict and there will be times when we have to come to understand them and where they are coming from. There are three different theories surrounding relationships and the conflict that happen within them. A theory is an a attempt to explain a phenomena, and the phenomena that these three theories attempt to explain are the common patterns of relationships. 

    The first theory is the exchange theory. The exchange theory is the theory that when both people are not giving an equal part in the relationship then it will most likely not last. For example if one person in the relationship never does anything for the other partner in the relationship and this partner is always doing everything in the relationship then there will be a gap of understanding in the relationship. It is like a balance scale when both sides weigh the same amount the scale will remain balanced and the relationship works. If this is not happening then the relationship could be unbalanced. Although it may be unbalanced, if one partner seeks to truly understand why the other partner is lacking in the relationship then they will be able to resolve the issue through communication. This may seem like a conflict which is what our next theory attempts to explain. 

    The conflict theory is the theory that whenever there is more than one person trying to make a decision there is bound to be some kind of conflict in the decision. As I talked about with the scale deciding on how to be more balanced could create a conflict if both parties feel that it is unfair. There are many people who hate conflict of any kind but constructive conflict is not harmful to a relationship. These conflicts can be as simple as where to eat or what kind of icecream to get regardless they will come up and as we seek to understand what the other person wants and compromise the conflict will not seem like that big of a deal. Conflict is necessary but fighting is not. 

    The third theory is the symbolic interaction theory. This theory is the one that I think is very common it is the theory that everything is symbolic. So basically when someone reads into signs that they think the other person is giving them when they really aren't meaning anything by what they are doing. I know I have definitely been guilty of this one sometimes it is hard not to get hung up on every little thing. Some examples of this are missreading a text message thinking they are angry when they aren't or thinking someone is flirting when they are just being nice. Whatever it is most of these things can be resolved if we just simply seek to understand the way the other person is actually feeling rather than judging solely based on their actions. 

    These are all just theories for the phenomena that happen in our everyday relationships and I truly believe that if everyone sought to gain a deeper understanding of the other person they would not only have less issues but they would also be able to completely understand the other person. 

Consequences of the Decline in Family

  Hey, y'all thanks for tuning in to my blog I'm new at this so bear with me! Today I wanted to write about some of the trends we see happening in families, why they are happening, and why they are so important. Over the course of the last several years, we have seen a lot of people shying away from getting married and having kids. There are many reasons why this trend could be happening. First off let's be real the world is kind of a crazy place to be in right now and it's scary to think about raising a family. It's also not a cheap endeavor to have children and a lot of the time people get caught in the cycle of thinking that they will start a family after they have a set career or they have a house and a more stable lifestyle. Another reason people might not want to get married is out of fear of commitment or it's easier to just live together and get married later on. Whatever it may be the decrease in family and these relationships is becoming evident in society.

  I know that no family is perfect but family plays a vital role in who we are and who we can become as a person. I served a volunteer mission for my church and during my time in Arkansas I was able to go into a lot of different people's homes and I was able to see a lot of different families and family situations. I had the opportunity to very closely get to know a family whose parents were not married but they had kids and had been together for about 12 years. They were very nice people but they had a lot of issues and it wasn't a very stable situation for their kids. When a man and a woman get married they form a union with one another that they will support and love one another. It's a commitment that unites them to each other creating a more stable environment to raise a family. This specific family didn't have any stability because the kids never knew what to except their dad was constantly in and out of the picture and it created a very unsure and rocky foundation. According to the video, "The Family and Sustainable Development" it states, "research shows that men women, and children do better when it comes to health, wealth and education when they are part of a strong stable family." Having a strong stable family certainly helps everyone involved feel more stable and secure making it easier for them to thrive. 
    I have seen a diagram describing the relationship between a couple and with God as a triangle. When a husband and wife are working towards each other and also together working on building their relationship with God they will form a more solid and stable relationship. A triangle is the strongest shape in nature and because of its structural integrity, it is a firm foundation that can't be broken. I love this because even though it can seem scary and can seem like there are more cons than pros to getting married, it is a very special relationship that if done right can bring happiness and greater purpose to life. 
    Being able to provide children with a stable home is such a need in the world. I often reflect on my childhood and I couldn't be more grateful for my parents and the life that they worked hard for me to have. I honestly feel bad for those who are not as fortunate to have a stable family with loving parents. In the proclamation to the family, it says, "We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and its importance in God's eternal plan." Being part of a strong family is God's plan and is the way He intended it to be and as we strive to accomplish this goal we will be blessed and we will be able to feel the utmost joy. 

This is me!

Hello my Name is Megan I am a student at BYUI! I am super excited to share my thoughts and feelings about families here and I hope that some of you can relate! 

I would love to hear what your think so feel free to comment!